Panting heavily, Cloud looked across the open plain as he stood on the roof of a broken castle. "Stop hiding..." He sighed as he jumped down towards the ground and started to pick up his pace again. "Don't run away anymore..." Running across the plain, he scanned around the area trying to spot the one person he needed so much. "Please come back..." He then spotted foot prints on the ground which were heading into the forest. "Kadaj...I need you..."

The forest was wrecked; fallen trees were strayed all across the place, the once green grass was stained red by blood, and the river was corrupted crimson. Cloud spun around and began following the river up stream; hopefully it will lead him to his goal. "Come on Kadaj...where are you!?"

He was breathless, gasping for air. Then, he spotted a sword lying on the floor. He quickly picked it up and in one glance, he knew it was Souba. "Kadaj..." His heart was racing; there was hope...A small glimmer of hope... He begin shouting Kadaj's name as he ran throughout the forest; Kadaj was here – he knew he was...

I'm wishing you were here
My weakness is my fear
Alone I am myself
No reason left for me to care

Distracted by the sound
I hear footsteps all around
Empowered by adrenaline
Feel I've been born again

The sun was setting and he was tired and hungry as fuck, but finding Kadaj was his first priority. He then heard soft sobbing noises. "It must be him! Kadaj... Kadaj!" He jumped across the small stream, turning behind an old tree and there he saw him... Kadaj was wrapping his arms around his knees, head down, sobbing as tears rolled down. His shirt was stained red and blood was still dripping from his wounds. There were huge crimson cuts on his arms, chest, back and knees; anyone could see that he had been fighting with someone no doubt.

"Kadaj!" Cloud shouted as he ran towards Kadaj, kneeling down and pulling the silver-haired teen into his arms. Kadaj looked at Cloud in shock and horror. He quickly pushed Cloud away, "Ni-san, why are you here!?" he screamed as tears streamed from his eyes. "I know you hate me, you wanted me to leave didn't you!? Why are you here!? Here to actually check if I'm really dead!? Well I'm not, and what are you going to do!? KILL ME WITH YOUR OWN HANDS!?"

"NO! I was finding you! Please, come back with---"

"Come back with you? After what you said and did, how could you expect me to come back with you!?" Kadaj retorted.

~ Flashback ~

"Look Kadaj, you should stop getting into fights so often. Almost every day you'll come back home beaten up, bleeding from head to toe!" Cloud confronted as he bandaged Kadaj's left arm.

"I can take care of myself, you don't need to complain!"

"No you can't! If you could, you wouldn't always end up like this, and I wouldn't always have to clean you up!" Cloud was yelling by now.

"If it's such a pain then stop taking care of me!" Kadaj was on his feet and yelled as loud as Cloud, if not louder.

"As if, if I did, you'd end up dead! I have to take care of you and that's final!"

Kadaj felt tears rise to his eyes, "So now you're saying I'm nothing but a burden to you!?"

"ARGH! FORGET IT, YOU'RE IMPOSSIBLE!"

"Well at least I have a heart to feel! You're nothing but an empty container, you'll never know how it's like to love someone, to care for someone---"

SLAP

Kadaj stumbled back from the force used; he was now bleeding from his upper lip. He felt tears streaming down his cheeks. He then turned and ran out of the house.

~ End Flashback ~

"Kadaj, I---"

"Forget it! Just...go back home... Leave me alone..." Kadaj turned away, wiping off his tears with his only movable arm.

"What makes you think I'm letting you leave!? YOU'RE COMING BACK WITH ME AND THAT'S FINAL!" Cloud shouted as he lunged forward and grabbed the collar of Kadaj's cloak.

"No!" Kadaj retorted, pushing away Cloud's hand. "I'm not going to be a burden!"

"W-What...?" Cloud stuttered, completely dumbfounded.

"...Forget it, Ni-san... Just leave me alone." Kadaj begin to walk away, but realized Cloud's hand was grabbing the sleeve of his shirt.

"No."

"Let me go!" Kadaj begin pulling away, but Cloud lunged forward and held Kadaj tight in his arms.

"Kadaj, I'm not letting you go unless you explain why you think you're a burden." Kadaj stopped moving, falling limp onto Cloud.

Kadaj sighed, "You think I'm a burden, you practically said so this morning..."

Cloud was silent for a moment, then he remembered, "Do you remember exactly what I said?"

"You said you have to take care of me, I asked if that made me a burden, and you called me impossible." Tears welled up in Kadaj's eyes as he recalled their fight.

Cloud reached up and brushed the tears away. "Kadaj, I don't think you're a burden. I was just thinking about taking care of you; about how much I love it, and how much I hate myself for it."

"...Huh?" Kadaj didn't understand; he didn't understand a single thing....why was Cloud always so confusing?

"I love being that one that takes care of you, the one that makes you feel better; the one who makes you smile after you've been hurt. But it's gotten to the point where I'm almost happy that you end up hurt, because then I can make you happy. It makes me sick how selfish I can be."

Kadaj stared at Cloud for a moment, unsure of how to respond. He settled for resting his head on the crook of Cloud’s neck. "I'm sorry..."

Cloud shook his head, "No, I should be the one who's sorry. I started it all, and I even hurt you so badly... I'm so sorry. Could I repay you by bandaging all your wounds again?"

Kadaj smiled as he wiped his tears away and slowly nodded.

"A-Ah Ni-san...!" Kadaj was moaning loudly as Cloud trusted in and out of him. He saw stars dance across his vision as Cloud hit his sweet spot over and over again. "Ngh...Ah!" He moaned as he climaxed on their stomachs and Cloud came right after him. Both men were trying to catch their breath, panting heavily, desperate for air.

"Ni-san..." Kadaj brushed his lips against the crook of Cloud's neck as their legs intertwined with each other. Cloud wrapped an arm protectively around Kadaj, placing a kiss on his neck. "I love you..." Cloud tilted Kadaj's chin up with his other hand, bringing their lips together again, "I love you too, Kadaj..." Cloud may be confusing at times... but to Kadaj, this was the time when everything was as clear as water... Cloud had a heart to love.

~~~~ END ~~~~

disclaimer : i dont own cloud or kadaj, if i did, they'll be screwing each other now and i wont be typing this cos i'll be busy watching them. flamers will be used to burn mas selamat. the song used in this is called 'damn regret' (yes, that's where i got the tittle for this fic from) by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. i dont own the song either.

so... blah. there u go mar-mar-chan. happy? =P u better... i spent like... 1hr? writting this... and i should be eating dinner by now... blah. ima hungry... so yeah. but...eh not much smut... only..... emoness?? wadeva. bah, ima crazy now.. funneh, cos there's a full moon today... heh *claymore'ed*

WTF

saix : I LOVE DAH MOON.

me : looks like someone's high.....

saix : MOON, FTW!!! =DDDD

me : saix = sailor moon... WAHAHAHAHAHA *lightsaber'ed* WTF MANSEX STOP DAT!!

xemnas : I AM NOT MANSEX.

me : yes u r, m-a-n-s-e-x. =D *charkram'ed*

axel : DUN RUIN MAH S-T-Y-L-E, GOT IT MEMORIZED?!

me : yesh sir.... T____T

blah... ima gotta go now... oh wait... ita-chan said i fail at maths... WELL, ITA-CHAN, APPARENTLY I PWN AT MATHS. i'll prove it now once and for all, eg - Xemnas + Saix + bed = hot yaoi smex. see??? I PWN YER CASE MAN!!!!! =DDDDDD right... i really gotta go now... buhbye =DDDD